i made this video because i like this song (i found it on tiktok) i liked it the second i heard it but tbh the artists kinda pissed me off because they kept promoting it without releasing it and they were like "our fans have to beg for it if you want it" and i was like umm.. im not begging. just release the song. so i ignored them and never interracted until i got a vid on my fyp that they released it. thanks boys. it's a good song so no harm no foul. if u came here for my chappel roan rant i will go into that later.

but ya i was listening to it while playing second life and sometimes i just look at my avi (rottenmilkx) and swing the camera around to the music while playing random dances i collected so i just recorded me doing that!!

i planned some stuff out like the house i rezzed and the dances i was gonna use and the environment switches but it was mostly imporvised to the music. i was just vibing and having a good time. this is genuinely what i do in my free time. i loooveee second life soo much i want more people to play it :D i used the alchemy viewer btw. and im big on freebie hunting thank you fab free u are THE second life blog.

also obsessed with my staff that i can pop out anytime. i love flying in sl i will often pop my staff out and do that dive thing at the end for fun. that part wasnt planned i was like wait a second let me show the people my staff.

(this paragraph from yt vid desc) i have words to say about my recommended videos. listen i get that chappel roan is just living her life but i have to say i am not a fan of hers. beautiful voice but i dont agree with many of her artistic and creative choices. it's just my truth. i dont hate her guts or anything i just cant give my marcika seal of approval to that recommended video. HOWEVER. i love sterling tull (her makeup artist for that video) and i recommend checking out her account on instagram. ... this is the look that made me follow her
i also want to say if you like chappel roan and her music and she brings you joy, knock yourself out. im happy you found an artist you can love. im saying this for the people who get a sour taste in their mouth when they see her around...

babes lets be real you got a record deal at 17, got inspired by drag and gay culture, and profited off of it. glad you hired a drag makeup artist and tiny desk wanted your wig but like... how important can your wig be to your performance if you have to ask if there's a trash bag in there in the middle of your performance. like why dont you know whats in your wig... its your wig. did you just plop that shit on? id respect her more if she put in the effort to learn how to style her wig and do her own makeup. and chappel if youre reading this and it hurt your feelings... remember that its fine cause people love you and listen to your music. if you'r like "who the fuck is this bitch with 3 fans" id be like lol trueee. but i have opinions and i cannot go without saying them. i just think she has an elementary understanding of what drag is and she's selling people something that is better done by many other people. key word selling... also im sorry babe but most of your audience is bisexual girls who feel guilty for dating guys. and im allowed to say that cause that used to be me and i was annoying as FUCK!

if you disagree with me take a deeeeeeep breath realize that criticism is essential to growth. it was just important to me to not be misunderstood as a chappel roan fan. it takes a lot for me to become someone's fan officially. her watered down version of drag is just not it! i call it watered down nnot because sterling tull is bad at makeup... in fact it's because she is a makeup genius that i can say that you think sterling tull is giving her best looks to chappel? chappel roan didn't even put in the effort to find her own makeup artist, sterling tull clearly thanks chappel roan's team in this instagram post. " Thank you to her management @rubyanton and @sophiaeras for the experience ♥️". again so happy for sterling tull that she got this gig but i just think as an artist who is profiting off of drag aesthetics, i would appreciate her putting in the effort as an artist to care enough about the artistic vision to reach out to sterling tull directly.

if you say some shit like "oh shes busy with music she doesnt have time to worry about that stuff" when the fuck has a drag artist ever said something like that. im not even claiming to understand drag and its roots better than her - i dipped my toe into drag years ago and there was something about doing it that felt inauthentic at the time. here's a link if you wanna watch it and judge me on my drag attempt. it's only fair to do since i'm judging chappel roan so harshly. i think my wig hat is so fucking epic but there was something clearly missing to me in the artistic vision. it felt empty - which is not something i can say about the best drag performances i've seen. but at least i can say it was my vision to make that fucking wig hat. i safety pinned them all together in like an hour. but the makeup was done by my bestie liv who had done drag makeup before and they are a creative visionary but it didn't feel right not figuring out my own drag look on my own. the dress was my prom dress from high school that i didn't wear to my high school prom but i did wear to my boyfriend's prom the year after. i had a seriously horrible time at that prom. i found the dress at a salvation army when i was like 12 and i had to have it. it was 10 dollars and i just fell in love with it. i cant even zip it up all the way but i really love how it looks. i love the beginning look though, thats all me baby! and the song also... i have recorded a version of the song i like more than that version.. find it here under the audio player Marcika - Rabbit Hole.

so that is the end of what i have to say about my own drag attempt. i have way more pride in my art as it is now with the secret music video. that is who maricka is as an artist. i can stand behind everything i do artistically on my marcika youtube account. this isnt on that account for a reason. but i still will never delete it because it was instrumental in figuring myself out as an artist.

i can't feel that creative hunger visually in chappel roan... which is why her whole vibe comes off as inauthentic to me. she's even talked about her songs from this era being a result of witnessing drag and gay culture but not yet having actual gay experiences. i know so much about her because i used to be a chappel roan fan. liv showed me pink pony club when it came out and i absolutely loved it. but the more i learned about her as a person.. her artistic choices... the more i felt that we were simply from different worlds and i can't support her. yes.. even if its just a video in a recommended youtube video section.. i truly felt like i needed the world to know my thoughts. AGAIN if you like her and her music and she inspires you i am glad you have found joy in art. but if you call her camp im going to hit you.

liv also pointed out that it is possible for someone to perform drag while in makeup someone else did for them. however the way chappel roan does it feels very corporate. she sings about feeling this feeling of “oh i must perform i have to find myself on the stage” but id like to see more of what her authentic desperation looks like, as a pop star. some people compare her to lady gaga, another artist inspired by drag, who im sure has also hired drag makeup artists to do her makeup. but i was there for the lady gaga criticism and hate. people hated her. they were so fucking mean. like the meat dress? in the 2000s? now thats a fucking icon. so chappel is not on that level by any means. at least not right now.

listen ill also say i know these discussion points could be infinitely argued. i may disagree or agree with them in the future but right now 4.7.24 i feel these thoughts enough to say them on the internet. chappel roan also probably is working very hard on finding herself and im sure she wants to be the kind of artist that is a real trailblazer. and on some level i guess she is because i havent seen anyone like her in pop. and i do think she has good intentions. i think she loves gay people and has said shes gay herself. my opinion on her could change in the future. but i think its the overflowing love and support of her - saying shes doing something brand new when shes not. shes just the right face to sell it to america. when youre in a label thats what is happening by the way… youre a product that is being sold. so your decisions should be judged as such.

aaaand... end rant.

also my mom loves teddy swims lol she was like have you heard of this guy? i was like no. she was like how? he is so famous?? keep in mind she found some socks in the closet and was like you and liv are gonna love these and i looked and them and they were baby yoda socks and i was like... do you know who this is? and my mom was like.. no..? she doesnt even know who adult yoda is. she doesnt give a fuck about star wars. shes a 60 year old hungarian immigrant who moved here when she was 33 year old. love that for her tbh. she knows who jimmy neutron is though. and me. xD marcika was her nickname first. and my legal name is after her and all my grandmothers. so lets not forget who the original is!