How I discovered this song: at an experimental theater show in San Francisco called The Infinite Wrench (Full longer story of discovery is in the blog.. just going with the natural flow of writing)

Tonight, Sunday September 7th, 2025 is the 9th full moon of the year.

Technically the full moon was at 2pm(ish). I kept this in mind when walking home last night. Even though it was late, I stopped to admire the moon for a couple minutes. I watched as she shined through the clouds, illuminating them in her glow. Whether it's due to my glasses or my astigmatism, when I look at the moon head on (no clouds blocking it), rays of light shoot out of her. Maybe one day I'll try to draw it (it's in these moments I wish I could paint)

edit: I ended up drawing the way the full moon looks to me ^-^

Anyways...I waited for the clouds to clear so I could see those rays of light.

I am coming back a week later to finish writing this blog entry.

For the past 2 months I have been moonbathing during the full moon and I usually have 1 song I'll put on repeat while I just watch the moon. It's very nice. Last month was Picture Window by Japanese Breakfast (I'd like to make a whole blog post about the album this song is from, but that's a whole other thing). This month, it was Best For You and Me

I found out about this song about a month ago at an experimental theater show in San Francisco called The Infinite Wrench

This song was in one of the sketches. They did a dance routine to it and for a moment I felt so light and free. The entire show made me feel so many emotions - all of them ending in delight for humanity and our capacity for creativity. If you're ever in the bay area, check them out!!

What immediately caught my attention is that leading piano in the first verse. Idk if "leading" is the right term, but it kinda pulses forward, giving the entire song momentum.

After the show, I asked one of the members what song played during the sketch, and they told me. I searched it up the following day, and fondly remembered the show and the way it made me feel. Upon many subsequent listens, I now have other emotions attached to it. But I think the way you discover a song can make it feel that much more potent.

I wanted to find out more about the song and why Helado Negro wrote it, and came across this NPR article. Here is a quote about the duality of growing up in Florida with his family being from Ecuador - listening to Latin American music at home.

There are many beautiful quotes in this article that touched me (I loved him explaining the album name - Phasor and his relationship to sound), but this quote reminded me of my own experience growing up in an immigrant household. This answer is in response to what started the "spark" of Helado Negro. He responds by expressing interest in that which is different. He put words to a feeling I've understood since childhood.

That feeling of things at home being different from the outside world. Peeks into another country, almost like it's another world - especially when you're a child. Especially when you can understand another language. Language changes the way you think. The way you piece together words.

Someone once told me that you are as many people as the languages that you speak. I really resonate with that. The words you use.. sentence structure.. emphasis... all of those make up our communication styles. I think it also goes deeper than that, but I'm honestly still processing who I am when I speak Hungarian.

Back to the song,

I looked up the NPR interview because I was specifically curious what this song was written about. I was especially curious about this line. I'm currently in a stage of my life where I feel as if I am a cat chasing its own tail. I'm acutely aware of what I'm doing, but I can't resist the temptation.

This song was written about his parent's divorce. Our parents are most of our first understanding of what romantic love is. Even if your parents were never together - that lack of love in comparison to other people's "happy" families becomes apparent sooner or later. Personally - I was very aware that my parents did not belong together even though my dad desperately wanted me to grow up to adulthood in a house with both parents together. Neither of my parents had that. And neither did I. I lived with just my mom from the age of 12 on. (Btw my parents were never married. Yes! I am a bastard!) What is best for me? What was best for them? Learning about the fact this song was written about divorce just made me think about that experience, but I honestly didn't expect the song to be about that!

I want to give a mention to the music video itself. It's very charming. I really enjoyed the show with Helado Negro walking next to those rock formations at 1:43. Also the shot of the picnic bench with the clouds in the background. I love a slightly cloudy sky. Really the whol;e sequence from 1:22-1:45ish was my favorite. The usage of black and white with artificial coloring & animated line art was a choice that intrigued me. It was little human touches added in post. I'm very fascinated by nature vs. humanity. Or not versus per se, but for example - the moon knows not of legal divorce proceedings.

Regardless of what this song was written about, my initial relationship to the lyrics remain. This song feels like an aching hope. There's a lyric in a Hungarian song that my mom showed me called Ajjajjaj by Quimby "És csak az téved el, aki él!". I'd translate that to "And the only ones who go wrong, are those who live."

But those moments I spend staring at the moon don't feel so complicated. Up there is the moon - in its cycle of waxing and waning. And down here am I. :)

And as always, email any music recs to m@marcika.club and I'll check them out :D