Mon Jul 14 --12:39--
I see... already halfway through July.... having to reckon with poor time management and lack of discipline is a common theme in my life lately. I think the problem also lies with a faulty inner compass. What is it I truly want to do with my time???? I want to really beef up my official about page, because as it is now is soo blaaahhh. But I can't express to you the amountof time I sit starting at Visual Studio Code, watching the ------ okay pause. I had to look at what the blinking line that shows where you're about to type next is called and who the FUCK named it the "insertion point"? My mind might perpetually live in the gutter, but come on. It's not even a GOOD NAME. i GUESS i'm about to insert a word, but I'm trying to write prose detailing my journey updating my website, not D grade smut. The other word for it is "caret", which is fine - but it has dual meanings. It means the blinking line and also the "^" character. Which could be confusing if someone didn't know what a caret was and looked it up and saw "^", which is what mainly comes up when you just look up "caret". Whatever. Moving on. So, I sit and stare, watching the caret blink, not having the slightest clue with where I want to start. My artists block started with my tinnitus. Lately all that matters to me is my own flesh and the dirt outside. The only time I feel at peace is when I am pushing my body to its limits, experiencing nature, or full belly laughing. XD
Tue Jul 8 2025 --19:26--
lalalaaa it's my birthday month lalalalaa. i am TRYIIIINGGGGGGGG TRYING. to update my about page. my actual about page. i also need to make a sitemap because do people know i have a music blog?????? rn i'm like helloooo i have a music blog. i need to make some sauce now bye (like cooking sauce for eating)
Mon Jun 30 2025 --14:19--
feeling so overwhelmed. all my passion and drive has dried up and i keep trying to add water to the well but there's just a big hole in the bottom. the only thing left is my ego.
Tue May 20 2025 --18:03--
listening to figwasp radio showby pluto22.. come by next week if you can. 8pm EST on tuesdays. it was really fun
Tue May 20 2025 --16:18--
i'm coming here to have a semantic argument with myself. i think i'll make the tv/movie etc blog under blog/visualmedia or blog/movingimages but that's the whole reason i am even coming here is in THEORY. SEMANTICALLY. i could do blog/movies because movie is short for moving picture so technically anything that has frames per second is a movie, including gifs. like you could make that argument. i don't know if i am making that argument per se, but movies started out as just a couple seconds!!
was reading this article to remember the difference between horse in motion / arrival of a train / rounday garden scene and i actually had my mouth agape at the edison murder accusation. what a funny thing to include in this article about the first movie ever made. like even if that is true, sorry edison! this guy's garden is forever cemented into cinema history and people all over think you're a jackass!
Tue May 20 2025 --12:17--
FUCK! here is my fucking problem right now: STRUCTURE AND DISCIPLINE. i want to eventually have a bunch of hubs for music, movies/tv/things i watch, things i like to read, basically a hub for each kind of media. but i have no clue how to organize. right now i have everything set up under "blog" but that's like. for web logging........ and i cant do straight /music because i literally make music. that is for my music. this is literally just all about semantics. i was thinking i could make it all under /mediahub or something like that, but honestly i want something that makes more of a splash.
basically i would have a folder that would hold all the information and pages about my thoughts about that thing. like for example liv and i are doing a watchthrough of all taskmaster seasons and although that will be a single blog post, it will be a very long one and it also is one of my favorite shows of all time. so i don't know if it would be under blog/watch/faves/taskmaster.html OR if i would do something like mediahub/watch/tvshows/taskmaster.html and then on that point.. should i have my blog separate like i have now or would it be something like mediahub/watch/blog.html . you know what? i just answered my question. no matter what it's nice to have all the blogs in one place. i want to have them organized by type from the start because i will be blogging from now until my soul leaves my mortal body. so it'll be nice to be like oh here is the blog of what marcika has watched. so right now i have blog/mini, blog/music, and blog/personal. and then within those blogs i have everything organized by year. this means that if in 2037 i decide i want to have a more detailed organizational system, i can organize it within that year itself and not have to touch the archive.
on the note of organization i am just happy im not a particular fan of podcasts because i don't know where i would even put that. it's not something i watch and it's not music so i wouldn't put it in the music blog. but i never listen to podcasts so woohoo! :D one less thing to worry about. okay bye.
Fri May 16 2025 --23:32--
i'm so fucking wired rn i drank a black black tea (with milk and sugar :3) at 7:30pm bc i thought i'd have to stay up till like 2am to meet a deadline for a freelance videography job but i finished at 10pm >.< so now i'm updating my site :D btw i am using 24 hr time and 12 hr time because i want to lol. lately i am just trying to hold onto my sanity.